Lately, all he ever does is gripe.

“Are you listening, Jer?” Stewart turned to look at me.

“Yeah, Stew, I hear you! Today, yesterday, the day before,” I groaned. Ever since he went to the tree to look for food, he’s changed. He came back like his feet were on fire, and all he’s done is predict doom and gloom.

“Why will no one believe me?! I’m telling you! I was trying to run from it, and it just kept following me! If it finds out where we are, we are dead! DEAD, JERRY! We need to find a new home! NOW!” Stewart’s eyes were crazy, and he was hyperventilating.

“Stew! Just keep your eyes forward and march.” I chanced a look behind me at Pete. Pete rolled his eyes and shrugged. I poked my head around the side to see if Adam was listening. All I could see of him when looking around Stewart was the rigid line of his shoulder. Yeah, he heard him, alright.

“Stew, calm down. You’re scari – ,” my growl died in my throat.  

Just then, the hill came into sight. Our line came to an immediate stop.

There was a concentrated beam of light moving across the hill.  The bodies of our brothers in arms were scattered and  . . . wait! Was that smoke coming off their bodies?

I looked up to see a round object framing the light in the sky, and the beam shot from it, straight for our line.

“DEAD!” Stewart screamed.

Official Word Count: 248

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If I remember correctly, I had 4 days for this piece, but I was also in the middle of finals week.  Even now, I want to tweak it.  I want to change “shoulder” to “antenna” and a couple of other things.  But I’m leaving it like this – as is – because this is the piece that put me in the “not quite” bracket, but I also improved. I had 4 out of 10 wins with this bit and for only a second entry, felt that I should be proud of that.  Obviously I still have a lot of work to do to improve, but it’s a solid piece and I’m overall pleased with it.