My family and I have been through SOME stuff the last three years. Some good stuff, some bad stuff and then the stuff that is just . . .well, stuff. It happens in all our lives. It’s my belief that life is one long roller coaster, if you will. There are ups and there are downs. There are those moments when the track is flat. There are the moments when you feel like you are climbing with no idea of what’s waiting for you at the top. At least, this has been my experience. I would love to be wrong but I’m pretty sure this is how it goes for the general population, regardless of whatever means you use to measure your circumstances to others. It is the human condition.
After a year of SOME bad stuff, I learned how to let go. I found that I was literally at the end of my rope, I had no power, and no solutions. Coming to that realization, I cried out to God. “You know what, God, it’s all yours!” I was angry and frustrated and broken-hearted. “You can take all of it!” I cried for hours. And, bless the Lord, He did. He taught me that night that He really does have it all. He gave me the ultimate Peace. He brought me through all that sorrow to a place of rest. Did any of my circumstances change? Absolutely not. For the next two years hardly anything changed. Nothing really changed, that is, except that I had given it all to God. And the Peace that comes with that total surrender is the most amazing thing. It allowed me to do what I need to do, without the exhaustion, without the dread of daybreak. I no longer woke up fearing the next day, the next week, the next month. People would ask “How are you” and I could honestly say “I’m good”. Sure, there were times that I wasn’t having a great day or when circumstances were troubling, but they weren’t overwhelming me. They weren’t dragging me under the tidal wave.
Through those next two years, we still encountered SOME stuff. Some bad, some good, and then just some stuff. It is still a daily walk that requires me to give it to God. Daily. I find that taking my eyes off my Creator for any length of time allows the “What if” and “What would I do” questions to come up and take over my thought processes. And the answer is always “I can do nothing”. Taking my eyes off God is not an option for me anymore. I HAVE to surrender it to Him. I cannot function any other way. But I am learning another lesson now. Isn’t that just the way He is?
Even though I had given everything up to God, it doesn’t mean I am lining up with His plan. Even though I had even given my family up to God, doesn’t mean they are lining up with His plan. I am trying to bring myself into line, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and I am praying my family does the same. But tiny little choices, every day, can keep me out of alignment. Those insignificant little decisions can throw the line off by a hair. And if you add up enough hairs you get a full ponytail. Ha ha. You get my point.
He’s been working on me (and my family) but it has only been recently that it has started to look like we are finally lining up. I’m assuming all this started happening when I started taking my family and our situation back from the enemy. I had to get to a point where I had to put the concept behind Matthew 11:12 into practice. The verses leading up to it and including that verse refers to the sudden HUGE interest of the mass of people to hear the words of the prophet and Jesus. In the same way that the people clamored for the teachings, I am clamoring for restoration. I want Jesus to say of me, “heaven has suffered violence and the violent take it by force”. I want to bombard heaven with my request – no, my demand – for the blessings that Jesus himself preached and practiced: healing, peace, salvation, and love. I am bombarding heaven with prayers of His guidance, His calling, His mercy, and His plans. And He gave me this illustration:
I play a game called 1010. It’s a puzzle game where you try to create a full line using the blocks you are given. You can create a full line either horizontally or vertically. Once you create a full line, the line disappears. You lose the game when you have no space left to place the next block and therefore can’t create a full line. I have been playing for a few months now. My high score is 6103 and I have been trying to break that barrier for a while. I’m sure there are plenty of others out there with much higher scores. I don’t claim to be great at it, but I enjoy it and it helps me relax, strangely enough.
One day, in the middle of this taking heaven by force, I was praying and kept seeing these blocks and seeing a line forming. I couldn’t believe myself. Why am I thinking about this game? In the middle of praying here! Get out of my head! But then I’d be praying and there were these blocks again. I got to where I was seeing blocks when I wasn’t praying. Just to see if I was obsessed, I stopped playing the game for several days. But I was still seeing the blocks. So I had to ask God, “Is this You?” (I don’t claim to be quick, y’all!) And I saw the blocks again in prayer. Then He gave me understanding. I heard him saying that these blocks represent His plan, His will for my family. I saw each piece fitting into place, one at a time. “Why are they all vertical, Lord? You could make a line horizontally, too”. (Me instructing God how to play. I don’t claim to be bright, y’all.) To which He replied, “This is my plumb line. Your family will line up. You will line up. You need only surrender and continue to take your family back.” And then this:
Isaiah 54:11-17
O troubled one, storm-crushed, uncomforted! see, your stones will be framed in fair colours, and your bases will be sapphires. I will make your towers of rubies, and your doors of carbuncles, and the wall round you will be of all sorts of beautiful stones. And all your builders will be made wise by the Lord; and great will be the peace of your children. All your rights will be made certain to you: have no fear of evil, and destruction will not come near you. See, they may be moved to war, but not by my authority: all those who come together to make an attack on you, will be broken against you. See, I have made the iron-worker, blowing on the burning coals, and making the instrument of war by his work; and I have made the waster for destruction. No instrument of war which is formed against you will be of any use; and every tongue which says evil against you will be judged false. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness comes from me, says the Lord.
My response is “Ok, Lord. Have Your way.” There is no other answer for me. I have tried to do it my way, and He taught me surrender. I have tried a completely hands off approach, and He taught me to “take it by force”. The difference is that I am storming heaven’s gates and not haranguing my family. He is still teaching me. I will always be learning something from the Master. But He is faithful. He is patient. He is loving. As long as I am willing to both surrender my will and be violent in prayer, He will restore us. I am excited to see the work God is doing!
What is He doing in your life? Have you learned surrender? What have you had to “take by force”? If you’ll start by asking “What do you have for me, Lord,” you might be surprised. While He may not lay out a picture for you of what your life will look like, He will pull out the plumb line of His will and help you start lining things up. Be open, be surrendered, be violent in prayer. The results will be amazing!
Stand up, be heard, be kind! 