A few weeks ago, our pastor challenged our congregation to step beyond ourselves and to give away that which we were needing. Need more joy? Try spreading it to others. Need more faith? Speak it over someone else. Yes, even if you need money, try giving it to those in need. The concept, of course, is that you cannot out-give God. If you are giving from the right place in your heart, then God will return to you what you have given away and will add to it. So he asked us to ask God, who would you have me bless, to whom can I give away the thing I need most. I earnestly sought His answer. Who, Lord, is in need of my help? In my mind’s eye, I saw a friend who had been having health issues and was struggling. But Lord, I visited with her yesterday, and I plan to go again today. Then I saw an outreach program that I am involved in. Yes, Lord, I was just helping there and I need to remember to add to the list. But then my mind was flooded with images of people and places that I have loved on and served and tried to just be there for. And that still small voice spoke to me. “I am well pleased.” Which, of course, made me bawl like a baby. All day.

But we humans. We are rarely satisfied. And I started wondering. If I am okay in the giving department, then what? What do You want me to do, Lord? What is it that I am missing? Because, I obviously am missing something. I am still alive, still kicking, still breathing, so my work is not done. And in the back of my mind, I know what He has told me before, but I, in true Pam form, just ignore it. I pretend like I don’t know it. But the Lord . . . He doesn’t do ‘ignore’. He instructs. Gently. Insistently.

In my case, that came as a dream. My dream took me to a woman’s home. She was no one I know, but she asked me the one question that I have been asking God for the last 15 years, or more (that’s another post, I promise). In my dream, I had the answer, but each time I went to explain it to the woman, she would wander off mid sentence. Apparently, she was looking for something and it bothered her that she couldn’t find what she was looking for. So, while she wanted the answer, she was distracted by the thing she had lost. Each time she left while I tried to give her the answer was making me impatient. In frustration, I picked up a stick and began to write on her wall. I would just leave the answer here so she could see it, when she could concentrate, I thought. And in the middle of my writing, the sun came up through her living room window. I saw a sparkle on the floor. When I went to pick up the item, there was another, then another. There was a trail of things and I realized this was what the woman was looking for. In my earnestness to help, I left the writing undone. Which speaks volumes to me. When I woke up, I knew that God had been showing me something. I also understood that He was talking about my writing. The writing I leave undone in my earnestness to help. The writing that sits in the draft folder and never gets published in this blog. I know that’s what He is telling me. So I am opening up those folders, fine-tuning pieces, and hitting that publish button. Even If it’s for no other reason than to just say that I did. And in the meantime, I have to ask you: What is that thing that the Lord is asking you to do? Are you ignoring Him? Do you even hear that still, small voice prodding You? Trust me when I say that the Lord, He is insistent. But let me also tell you that He isn’t going to talk to you with a big, booming voice or appear in a burning bush. At least, not in my experience. No, no. Our Lord, He is a gentle instructor. He will not force His way. He wants you to choose for yourself. He wants you to choose Him and His kingdom. He will love you regardless of your choice, but choose Him. Choose to do that ONE thing He’s asked of you. And, in the process, you may be giving away what you need. Believe me, He’ll return it tenfold.